I've only been a mother for 5 short months, and already I have heard a solitary phrase thousands of times, "enjoy it, it goes by so fast!"
I appreciate the sentiment, really I do, but there is one curious fact I notice about those who choose to share this pearl of wisdom - none of these people have babies under 3. Ever. They are grandparents whose children have long since flown the nest and they are reminiscing, or parents whose children have just started school/high school/university, and they are feeling sentimental. They are people who have been there, but aren't there now.
They are imparting this knowledge with the benefit of hindsight.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. It tricks the mind into believing things weren't exactly as they were. It romanticises. It softens the blow. It dulls the pain.
When you are imparting such a pearl of wisdom, you are doing so with the benefit of hindsight, and probably more than 2 hours of broken sleep.
While it's true that, as we look back, time seems short, the reality is that it's not short at the time. When you have a baby that won't stop screaming, time is not short. When it's 2.00am and you are pacing the floor, again, because your baby won't sleep, time is not short. When all you want to do is rest your weary eyes, but it's 9.00am and there's floors to be scrubbed and laundry to be washed and appointments to be attended, TIME IS NOT SHORT.
Instead, I believe a better phrase to say to a battle-weary, sleep-deprived parent is this:
"It won't be like this forever".
Because it won't be.
As a breastfeeding mother, one day I know I will get my body back. But for now, one day seems a long, long way away.
Please don't cheapen my feelings by telling me "it goes by so fast", because right now, it is not. Right now, that's not what I need to hear. I'm not sure I ever really need to hear that.
In hindsight, the last 5 months of my baby's life have gone by in a blink, but the reality is much different. The reality is there have been more tears and less sleep than ever before in my life. There have been greater highs and crushing lows, often within moments of one another. I've felt, I FEEL, like I'm losing my mind. Perhaps I am. Perhaps I have.
But I know, in this moment, time is moving at just the right pace. At the same pace it always has. At the same pace it always will. It is only my perception that changes. Not time. Time is a constant.
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